Masquerade: a romantic comedy Page 3

  Blitzer gave one sharp, happy bark, which was followed by giggling. Two pairs of giggles.

  Slade crossed his arms and glared down at the table. “Bella!”

  The giggles stopped.

  “Bella Jacobson, what are you doing?”

  Two little heads peeked out from underneath the tablecloth. The one with light brown curls said, “We’re having a hot chocolate party, Daddy.” Her smile grew wider. “Because you don’t let me drink real tea.”

  Slade shook his head. “Bella, you were supposed to stay in the playroom until Meredith called you to come down.”

  Bella’s smile instantly turned to a pout that made her look even more charming. “You said I would get to play with a friend, and then she came and you forgot to get me.” Bella pulled Blitzer into a hug, and he licked her face until she laughed and let him go. He then disappeared under the tablecloth completely.

  “No one forgot to get you,” Slade said. “It just wasn’t your turn to play yet.”

  Clarissa motioned to her daughter. “Come here, Elaina.”

  Elaina crawled from underneath the table with a frown. “I just started playing.”

  “You have to ask me before you play. You know that. I was worried when I couldn’t find you.”

  Elaina sighed dramatically and, with her ponytails bobbing, stomped over to her mother. “But that girl said I’s ‘posed to go with her.”

  Slade cocked his head and gave Bella another stern look. “Isabel, did you go get Elaina and tell her to come with you?”

  Bella nodded and her curls bounced around her shoulders.

  “Why didn’t you ask her mother if she could play?”

  “Because we’re playing spy and so it’s a secret. That’s why we’re in our secret hideout.”

  Slade nodded. His voice had a crispness to it when he spoke. “We will talk about your career as a spy later. Right now I want you to go back into the playroom so I can talk to Elaina’s mother.”

  “You still want to interview me?” Clarissa asked.

  “Do you still want the position . . .” he glanced at the table, “even now that you know my daughter is an underworld spy who lures unsuspecting bystanders underneath the dining room table?”

  “That depends,” Clarissa said. “Does the dog come along as part of the job description?”

  Slade smiled a broad, even smile, the same one she’d seen plastered on the cover of TV Guide not long ago. “I’ll talk to Bella about hiding.”

  Without a trace of emotion Meredith said, “And perhaps you could put a bell around her neck.”

  Slade shot Meredith a look, but when he turned back to Clarissa, he seemed to be the person she’d first seen in the waiting room—professional and impatient. “Well, let’s get on with the interview. Where did I leave my notebook?”

  He looked toward the door. Before he could move in that direction, Meredith spoke up, “I’ll get it for you.” She smiled coolly, turned, and her heels clicked sharply across the floor as she left.

  Slade turned to Bella. “Why don’t you and Elaina make a secret hideout in the playroom now?”

  “The table is the best hideout.” Bella’s pout came back. “Pleeeease.”

  Slade shook his head, and Clarissa could see the answer forming on his lips. Then just as quickly, he stopped and half smiled. “I suppose we can do the interview in here.” He glanced over at Clarissa. “If you don’t mind.”

  Clarissa shrugged and let go of Elaina’s hand. Her daughter happily skipped over to the table and disappeared back underneath.

  Slade walked to the table and pulled two chairs a little way from it. He motioned for Clarissa to sit down on one of them. As she did, he scrutinized her carefully.

  “I read the résumé the agency sent, and it seems fine. Tell me one thing, though. Do you have an acting background?”

  Clarissa shifted in her chair uneasily. “I played Liesl in my high school’s production of The Sound of Music.”

  “Anything more recent?”

  Not unless one considered pretending to be married, acting. “No,” she said.

  “Good. The last nanny I hired cared more about my agent than my daughter.”

  “Oh. Well, you don’t have to worry about that in my case.”

  He leaned back in his chair. “Now then, on to your references.”

  She nodded, glad she had called the friends she’d written down for references and instructed them what to say.

  “Your references spoke well of you,” Slade said, “but I have yet to speak to your most important one, Elaina.”

  “Elaina?”

  “She’s had the most on-the-job experience with you. And besides,” he smiled at her mischievously, “kids tell the unvarnished truth.”

  Yes, exactly, which was why Clarissa suddenly felt like her heart would knock through her chest.

  Without waiting for her to formulate a decent protest, Slade left his chair and sat down on the floor by the table. Flipping up the tablecloth, he looked under the table at the girls. They lay sprawled out on their stomachs, the furry black dog and a pink plastic tea set lying between them.

  “May I join your party?” Slade asked.

  “Of course, Daddy.” Bella put her hand out as though giving him something. “Here’s a cookie for you. It’s pretend because Blitzer ate the real ones.”

  Blitzer wagged his tail.

  “Thank you,” Slade said. “I’ve always had a fondness for pretend cookies. What kind is it?”

  “Peanut butter chip,” Bella said.

  Slade put his hand to his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. “Delicious.” Then he leaned toward Elaina. “So, Elaina, how old are you?”

  “Almost four.”

  “And you have a mother, right?”

  Elaina nodded.

  “What’s her name?”

  “Mommy.”

  “A lovely name. One of my favorites. What type of things does Mommy do at home?”

  Elaina tilted her head to one side. “The dishes.”

  Slade took another bite from his invisible cookie. “Ahh, I specialize in that myself. Is she a good mommy?”

  Elaina held her arms wide. “She’s the best-est mommy in the whole world.”

  Slade looked over at Clarissa with raised eyebrows. “Stunning references.” He then turned back to Elaina. “What’s the nicest thing your mommy has ever done for you?”

  “She’s gonna give me ice cream if I’m good.”

  “Oh, that is nice. Tell her you want Haagen-Dazs. It’s the best.”

  “Just what she needs to hear,” Clarissa called over.

  “Does your mommy play with you?”

  Elaina nodded, making her pigtails bob.

  “What sorts of things do you play?”

  “Shoot and batter.”

  “Chutes and Ladders,” Clarissa corrected. “It’s Chutes and Ladders.”

  “Yeah,” Elaina said. “We also play Go Flesh.”

  “Fish,” Clarissa said.

  Slade smiled. “Do you ever get in trouble?”

  Elaina hesitated, sheepishly tilting her head to her shoulder. “Yes.”

  “What happens when you get in trouble?”

  “Mommy sends me to the chair and says, ‘Do you want to grow up to be like Aunt Renea?’”

  “Who’s Aunt Renea?”

  With the exact same inflection Clarissa must have sometime used, Elaina proclaimed, “She’s a pain in the neck.”

  Slade bit back a smile and nodded.

  Bella put a plastic pink spoon into the sugar bowl and lifted it out again. “Daddy, would you like one or two spoonfuls of sugar in your hot chocolate?”

  “None. You don’t put sugar in hot chocolate.”

  “I do.” Bella put the spoon into her cup, then picked up the teapot and poured something into her father’s cup.

  Slade took it from her. “Hey, this is real water. You know you’re not supposed to take water out of the kitchen.”

  Bella blinke
d her large brown eyes at him. “But this is the outside-of-the-kitchen water.”

  “There is no outside-of-the-kitchen water.” He took a sip and then spit the contents back into his cup. “This is awful. Where did you get it?”

  “Out of the watering can.” Bella smiled proudly. “Because you said that’s the only water that goes outside the kitchen.”

  Slade picked up his cup and dumped the contents back into the teapot. “Great. Now I’ve ingested Miracle Grow.” He picked up Bella’s cup. “Have you been drinking this?”

  “Just a little,” Bella said.

  Clarissa immediately went to the table and dropped to her knees so she could get a better look at Elaina. “Did you drink any, sweetheart?”

  Elaina nodded solemnly.

  Clarissa turned to Slade. “Would Miracle Grow hurt them?”

  Meredith’s tailored pumps suddenly appeared by the table. Clarissa hadn’t noticed her come back into the room, but she must have been there for some time because she said, “Shall I call the poison control center?”

  “Yes.” Slade picked up the teapot, noting the water level. “We’d better.”

  “I can call,” Clarissa said, reaching for the cell phone in her purse. “I have the number programmed in my phone.”

  “So do I,” Meredith replied tiredly. She took the teapot and left the room carrying it slightly away from her as though she didn’t want to spill any of its contents on her clothes.

  Still sitting, Slade looked over at Clarissa with one eyebrow raised. “How come you have the poison control center on speed dial?”

  “In a time of crisis you don’t want to have to look up a number.”

  “Oh.” From the tone of his voice, Clarissa could tell that he hadn’t expected this answer.

  “Why does Meredith have it in her phone?” Clarissa asked.

  “Well,” Slade cleared his throat, “not too long ago Bella got into some of those chewable multivitamins with iron. She ate half the bottle, and we had to take her to the emergency room.”

  “Oh.” Clarissa nodded.

  “And before that Bella got into a liquor cabinet.”

  “Oh,” Clarissa said again.

  “And then there was the time she picked a bunch of poisonous oleander seed pods, put them in her dishes, and said they were beans. That was another night spent in the emergency room.”

  “Oh dear,” Clarissa said.

  “She’s an imaginative child,” Slade said.

  Meredith came clicking back across the floor. “Poison control said it isn’t a problem. Miracle Grow in water is too diluted to hurt anybody. Oh, and Vivian sends her regards.”

  Slade shifted his weight and glanced back at Clarissa. “They only remember me because of my name.”

  “Vivian asked if we’d be sending her a Christmas card again this year.”

  Slade quirked an eyebrow. “I didn’t know we sent one to her last year.”

  Meredith shrugged. “It only seemed proper after the way she helped us through the toothpaste affair.”

  “The toothpaste affair?” Clarissa asked.

  “The bubblegum flavored kind in the squeeze bottle,” Meredith said. “Bella pretended it was frosting.”

  “All right, all right.” Slade held up one hand, conceding the point. “Maybe we are on a first-name basis with the ladies at the poison control center.” He reached over and tilted Bella’s face so she looked up at him. “But that’s going to change from now on, right?”

  Bella smiled brightly. “Right.”

  “Because what is rule number four?”

  “We don’t eat anything Daddy didn’t serve us,” she chimed.

  “What’s rule number one?” Clarissa asked.

  With the same enthusiasm, Bella said, “We don’t put Daddy’s keys into the ignition.”

  Clarissa nodded slowly. “I see. And exactly how many rules are there?”

  “Sixteen,” Bella said.

  “Seventeen,” Slade corrected. “I just made another one. No going to secret hideouts when Daddy doesn’t know where you are.”

  “Okay, Daddy.” Bella reached over and gave him a kiss that melted the sternness from his face. He ran his hand over her hair in a gentle manner.

  Clarissa watched them silently. They looked like a scene from a Norman Rockwell calendar—father and daughter sitting by the pink tea set smiling at each other as though they were sharing some irresistible secret. It was hard to remember that this was the same man who’d been serving up those sharp you-lost-your-daughter comments only minutes earlier. He seemed so tender now.

  Men. You could never figure them out. It was a good thing Clarissa had sworn off men altogether. Who needed the aggravation of trying to second-guess them?

  Bella glanced over at Clarissa. “Is that lady going to take care of me?”

  “We haven’t decided yet,” Slade said. “What with two crises in one afternoon, we may have scared her off.”

  Elaina giggled as though he’d told a joke. “My mommy’s not afraid of anything.”

  “Another good qualification for this job,” Meredith said.

  Again, Slade shot her a look. “Why don’t you take the girls into the playroom for a few minutes so I can finish this interview.”

  Meredith motioned to them. “Come along, girls.”

  Bella dragged herself out from underneath the table, and Elaina trotted along behind her. Blitzer sniffed around the carpet where the girls had been playing. He must have found something of interest because suddenly a soft crunching noise came from that area.

  Clarissa expected Slade to return to his chair and to his professional manner. Instead, he stayed on the floor, leaned back with both arms stretched out behind him, and sighed in an almost defeated way. “You know,” he said slowly, “I never realized how hard parenting was going to be.”

  “I know,” Clarissa said. “Just when you think you understand them, they come up with something else that baffles you.”

  Slade cocked his head at Clarissa. “You understand your daughter? You must be doing a better job than I am. I always feel baffled.”

  “Bella adores you. You must be doing something right.”

  “I hope so.” He looked off into the distance with a wry expression. “Sometimes I don’t know how to get through to Bella. She doesn’t seem to remember anything I tell her—or at least not the seventeen important things.”

  “She’s four years old. It’s amazing she can even count to seventeen.” Clarissa smiled sheepishly. “And you saw how well my daughter remembered to stay by her mother. I’ve told her a hundred times not to even talk to strangers, and here she went off with one to pursue a life of espionage.”

  Slade’s gaze slid over to Clarissa, and he returned her grin. “Look at us. I’ve known you for a total of fifteen minutes, and we’re sitting on the floor sharing parenting woes.” He picked up his notebook from the floor. “As soon as I involved the children, I should have known the interview would end up this way.”

  “Chaotic?”

  “No.” He hesitated, then said, “Adults walk around wearing all sorts of masks, but kids have a way of stripping them off. If I’d had a few more moments with your daughter, I would have known all your family secrets.”

  Clarissa laughed and hoped he didn’t notice it was nervous laughter.

  “Who’s Aunt Renea?”

  “Alex’s sister. She’s just sort of . . .”

  “Ah, there you go. You’re putting on a mask. I can see you doing it.”

  “All right,” Clarissa said, “I’ll tell you. She’s the type of person who thinks she can do whatever she wants, whenever she wants, and is always surprised the world doesn’t spin around to accommodate her.”

  Slade nodded. “I’ve known a few of those myself. You’re right not to let Elaina grow up like her.”

  “Well, I’m trying, anyway.”

  He regarded Clarissa silently. “So, do you want the job?”

  “Yes.”

  �
��Good.” He held his hand out and shook hers. “I’ll see you Thursday morning.”

  He stood up then and pulled her up along with him. “I have some things to take care of before the trip, so Meredith will go over Bella’s schedule with you.”

  Slade walked Clarissa to Meredith’s office. Once there, Meredith gave Clarissa an employment contract, a copy of Bella’s daily schedule, a list of house rules, and directions to Bella’s preschool. She was shown the guest room, Bella’s bedroom, and where they kept the fire extinguishers.

  Meredith also gave her a list of phone numbers, including Bella’s dentist, doctor, and the nearest emergency room.

  Clarissa smiled weakly as she looked over the list. “I probably won’t ever have to use these, right?”

  Meredith smiled back at her. “That’s the spirit.”

  Clarissa must have looked concerned, because Meredith added, “Oh, you don’t have to worry too much. I’m in my office most of the day. If you run into anything you can’t handle, I’ll help you out. I mean, my week doesn’t seem complete unless I get to chat with the ladies at the poison control center.”

  Clarissa’s expression apparently didn’t change, because after a moment Meredith patted her arm. “I’m joking, dear. You’ll do fine.”

  The two women then walked to the playroom to retrieve Elaina. Clarissa was half afraid the girls wouldn’t be there, but both were playing happily beside an entire Barbie village. Elaina pushed a shiny red Corvette up to the dream house. She was so enthralled that Clarissa didn’t let her know right away she’d come to end her playtime.

  The room was easily the size of Clarissa’s entire apartment and had a built-in playhouse on one side. An assortment of child-sized furniture sat in the middle, and so many toy shelves covered the far side of the room, it could have passed for Toys R Us.

  Clarissa kept eyeing the room. “I guess this sort of takes the anticipation out of Christmas morning, doesn’t?”

  “Slade doesn’t mean to spoil her,” Meredith said. “He just tries to keep her busy. And to her credit, Bella is a sweet girl most of the time. It’s not her fault, really, that she goes through nannies like some people go through socks.”

  “Oh,” Clarissa said, “then whose fault is it?”

  “Some of it is bad luck . . . bad timing . . . the nature of help . . . the nature of children—and, of course, some of it really is Bella’s fault. The way she used to run away from Gwen . . .” Meredith shook her head. “I didn’t blame her for leaving.”